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“I’m trying to tell you that it always works out in the end,” Varda said, running out of empathy for her daughter’s whining. “Because you were the result of this Elf-Human union. And you’re the most wonderful gift a woman can have.”“And you think my happy ending will be to have a beautiful daughter? What kind of twisted, sex-craved creature is going to burst out of my womb, Mother. And how many brothers will it have? A hundred? A thousand? When or if you come visit, please forgive your grotesque demon grandchildren for raping your serving girls and eating your horses alive.”“You’re exaggerating, Aranel.”“Let’s see if you still feel that way after the ceremony, after watching your daughter walk down the aisle practically naked.” She lifted and dropped her squishy melons again to make sure her point still got across. “And who knows what kind of embarrassment awaits me at the altar.”“It’s true that the wedding will incorporate a few demonic traditions; it takes compromises to form a. "And you know I didn't wear it at work."Phil grabbed her, impulsively, and kissed her hard on the lips, putting his hand on her ass, squeezing."So why," she asked when he came up for air, "are we meeting here?"Phil gestured to one of the stores. "We're going there." A pet shop?" Sue asked quizzically."I need some dog supplies," said Phil. Sue's eyes widened as she realized what he had in mind. They entered the store holding hands."We could go to a sex shop—" she began."Collars in a sex shop have the leash attach on the front. I want the collar to attach on the back, like with a real dog," he replied."Woof," said Sue.There were any number of pet owners walking real dogs in the store. Sue struggled to suppress giggles."Can I help you?" asked a salesman."We're, um, looking for a dog leash and collar," said Phil."Certainly, sir. What breed of dog is it?" Um, it's a...it's a..." It's a big dog," said Sue, stifling a laugh."Do you know its neck size—" Her neck size," said Sue,.
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